Character

Q: I have been meditating for years with good results regarding being able to calm my mind, but in day-to-day life I cannot get over feeling envious of others when they are wealthier, prettier or smarter than me...even when meditating I feel competitive about "who is the best meditator" in the teacher's eyes. How do I conquer this?

MM: Forget words like envious, greedy, etc. When you feel that way watch your body. You will notice that it is full of little tensions. Just like relaxing a clenched fist, simply relax that tension. In your case, let go of watching your mind and fully concentrate on body tensions and relaxation. That is all it is. The mind contributes to creating these tensions, but in some people the tension in the body is first and the mind fills in with "reasons". In your case, you need to relax your body.

Q: So it isn't an issue of character?

MM: In your case, no.

Q: But why do I feel like I have a bad character to be so easily moved to envy?

MM: Because you are of good character!

The End Of Human Suffering

Q: Is there ever going to be an end to human beings hurting each other?

MM: Yes. We'll need infinite patience. Now.

Computer Time Non-Spiritual?

Q: Is spending a lot of time on the computer non-spiritual?

MM: When it comes to leisure computer time, it depends on who your are talking to and on what you are writing or reading - just like life itself. What makes something spiritual or non-spiritual is whether it lifts yours or other's thoughts beyond the material to things like beauty, aesthetics, justice, harmony, love, peace, compassion, etc, etc ... infinity...eternity - and in the end - even silence. If you are doing "your work", other considerations also come into play. Work maybe very mundane and concerning non-spiritual things, but to do the work properly, on time and well is "kind and honest" to your co-workers, customers or employer.

In general, when it comes to computer time, ask yourself whether what you are doing is creative or consumptive? Observant or judgmental? Are you serious/obsessed or playful? Innocent or manipulative? Responsible or irresponsible? Run by fear and greed, or compassion and generosity. All these reflections will tell you whether anything you are doing, or not doing, in life, is spiritual (of your spirit) - or material. Not that all material considerations are "bad" and all spiritual considerations "good". Remember Buddha's Golden Middle Path is between the two. We live a material existence and need to tend to it.

Q: But even when I feel like being on the computer is "good", spiritually speaking, my wife makes me feel guilty that I am on it at all.

MM: Explain to her how it feeds your soul (if it does) to be on the computer, or how you need to be on it in order to not let people down at work in order to put a roof over her head if that is your situation, and see what she says.

The fear of the wife or husband can be close to the fear of death :-).

But - when death is understood - or when the wife or husband is understood - all will be well. The spouse wants attention, and so does death. If we don't pay attention to the wife, or the husband, or the children, or the friends - or the fact that life is precious and can be over at any moment for any of us - we will miss life, and we will miss growing in love.

Either you are spending too much time on the computer or you have a nagging wife. Most likely a little bit of both.

Remembering

Q: How come we can't remember past life times - if there even is such a thing?

MM: It is like not being able to remember what you were doing on October 23, at 10 o'clock in 1994. It doesn't matter now, although it may be the reason you are wearing a red shirt.

What needs to be remembered is our future, not our past. "Future" means our destiny. It is where we were before we were born. Our very past is our very future. Our destiny is where we came from. We become conscious of the source of your being.

There are only two paths. Both have infinite variety and combinations. There is the intellectual (scientific, atheist) path, and the emotional path (love, religion).

All paths are like boats you take across the river (life). They seem to be very important when you are on them, but ultimately have nothing directly to do with the destination (God, Enlightenment, Truth); and just before you step on the shore (Truth) you actually have to leave what took you there - the boat that gave safety, and direction. There is no point in staying on the boat once the shore has been reached.

That is the hard part for both the religious and the scientifically minded. Even close to the destination everyone seems to argue about who has the better boat. The whole world is arguing about the best boat - for getting to God, Truth, Enlightenment. This is nonsense. Even swimming will do. Even less - just floating will do. Boats can often be too much trouble.

Q: So is any thinking about Karma - even in terms of how to conduct oneself now for good karma in the future, pointless?

MM: It is OK to use it for "navigation". Navigation uses "points of references" to give some understanding about cause and effect, starting points and end points. It is only useful "along the way" but becomes useless the closer you get to the destination.

Harming Other Beings

Q: Are all things - like even rocks - beings? In terms of harming other beings - how can one possibly avoid harming other beings? Even just taking antibiotics would create bad karma.

MM: When we logically follow this notion of not harming another being the first thing is that we realize that our life depends on the many lives of others. The animals we may still be eating, the medications we depend on that have taken many lives, the ants we step on, the plants we eat, etc, etc.

The important thing is to grow one's awareness of how many beings must suffer for us to live, and then instead of feeling guilty to become deeply humble and grateful. The more our humility and gratitude grows, the less we will require, and the less harm we will cause. But it will never be zero.

As our awareness grows, even stones will reveal themselves to us as beings. And in the end - when the being-ness of all things is understood, as well as the interconnectedness and oneness of all things - who is there to harm or be harmed?

Ugly And Lovable

Q: What can I do about being a more lovable person?

MM: Be more lovable. There is nothing to do, just be more lovable.

Q: But I feel that I am fat and ugly and that on first impression already people decide I am unlovable.

MM: There are "fat and ugly" people who are very lovable and people are instantly drawn to them. Socrates was one of them. It is all a question of what occupies your thoughts. It is only thoughts that are fat and ugly. You get rid of fat (repetitive) and ugly (negative) thoughts against yourself and others and you will be free. Freedom is very attractive to everyone. Serenity, peace, compassion... all show up even on an ugly face. They are irresistible. Become irresistible.

Good Or Evil?

Q: I cried myself to sleep last night when I had the thought: "I really don't know whether I am good or evil." I was deeply moved and upset but in a very calm way. Can you explain this to me?

MM: Even God does not know whether he is good or evil. People question it, too. How can God let people suffer so much in wars and with diseases, especially little children?

You were upset because most of the time, thinking that you are a rather good person, at least a person trying hard and having good intentions - for the first time you considered being evil also. No more hiding this from yourself. The calmness came from holding both ideas of good and evil in regards to yourself at the same time, and knowing deep down beyond language that you are neither both, nor neither - but something different entirely.